Repentance

[Yuki Sohma]

The boy with the hair and the name of snow made his way through the woods, not knowing where he was and not caring. Completely unaware of his surroundings, he should have made noise as he plodded through leaves and twigs, but he made no sound, instead slipping through the trees like a ghost. What have I done? he asked himself.

Miserable, with his silver head drooping and his amethyst eyes, though unseeing, gazing at his bare feet, he made his way through the calm wood. He had rushed out of the house so fast he had not even bothered to put on his shoes or grab a coat. Now, shivering slightly in the chill air, he was dressed in a thin shirt and thinner pants, and entirely without warmth—both outside and in. What have I done?

Unaware of what he was doing, he walked, mentally berating himself. Before, he had laughed. Now he was closer to crying, spilling hot tears of shame. Indeed, he could feel them forcing their way up from deep inside. He closed his dimmed eyes of purple, refusing his tears their exit. What have I done?

What had he done? Why? Why? He could not understand why he had attempted to kill his brother. Why would he do such an awful thing? What have I done? And to laugh! To laugh at his brother’s pain! To laugh, at the suffering of another! Did this make him like the person he hated most in this world? Was he that kind of person? Was he a person who caused others pain and anguish, harm and suffering, and enjoyed it? Was he, at heart, a hypocrite for this? Was he a hypocrite for hating a man because he did precisely what the boy himself had just done? What have I done?

He continued on his way, wherever that might lead, with a heavy head and an even heavier heart. His feet, bare, cold, and torn, had a life of their own, following some invisible trail known only to them. Little did the nezumi of the Sohmas realize that he was following the exact path his brother had taken—every step, every stumble, every pause, every fall…He picked himself up, not bothering to brush off the leaves on his clothes. He hoped they would fall off while he walked. What did it matter? What have I done?

How could he live with himself now? How could he get through the days, knowing he had almost murdered someone—his brother—intentionally? How could he stand to look at his face in the mirror now? What have I done? What have I done?

Yuki kept walking, his mind echoing with his thoughts of guilt. Suddenly, he yawned. It had gotten dark quickly, and the stars were bright in the pitch-black sky. It was so dark in the forest, in fact, that one could see the Milky Way reaching across the heavens. At any other time, he would have stopped and marveled at its beauty, and even climbed a tall tree to get a better view—he was very fond of astronomy—but he didn’t even look up. He abruptly yawned again, and toppled over, hitting the ground. Yuki had worn himself out with thinking, and had literally fallen asleep while walking. The boy with the hair of silver slept curled up in a ball, not even escaping from his guilt in his dreams.

The sun rose over the forest, bathing the trees in rosy light. It paused briefly on the figure of a sleeping boy before moving on its way, unaware of the events of yesterday. It had risen fully before the figure stirred and sat up slowly. Yuki rubbed his bloodshot eyes, his brain immediately latching on to where it had left off the night before—guilt, guilt, and more guilt. Would it ever let up? Would it ever leave him alone? He stumbled onto his feet, absently brushing dirt, leaves, and grass off his clothes, removing what he could. He began to walk; he wanted to find a place where he could sit down. After meandering through the trees for a few minutes, he found a clearing. In it lay a large rock, long and flat—perfect. Yuki made his way slowly across the clearing and sat down on the stone. A few minutes later, he was lying flat out on the rock, with one last thought echoing through his drowsy mind. What have I done….

Yuki awoke once again, this time much later. What time is it? he thought, scrubbing at his purple eyes. It must be at least ten o’clock, judging by the sun. I wish I had a watch on. Indeed, he was correct: it was ten fifteen. Yawning and stretching his arms in the air, he stood up with a groan. My back hurts. Ow! I’m never going to sleep on a rock like that again, he decided. Reaching his arms to the ground, he brought his nose to his knees and wrapped his arms around his calves to stretch his back. ((Yes, he is VERY flexible. Like me! Hee hee!)) Ah. That feels—OW! It hadn’t worked. His mind told him, “You’re being punished, you know,” but his logic told his mind that this statement was completely and utterly ridiculous. With his entire brain in utter confusion, he clapped his hands to either side of his head and began to walk again in a random direction. Did it matter which way he went?

Yuki walked, a part of him telling him that he was the worst kind of person in the world, another part refuting that and so forth until the only thing he could get out of the entire internal argument was “How could you do that?” He was in turmoil, stumbling helplessly along, with his arms hanging at his sides, until he realized his bare feet were touching a different sort of surface. Huh?

“What?” he whispered. He had stopped walking, and for the first time he became slowly aware of what was around him. What was this? He was standing in the middle of a sidewalk, with cars and bicycles rushing past on his left, buildings on his right, and people pushing past on both sides. How in the world had he gotten here? He had no memory of it. What else was wrong with him now? Ignoring the elbows and shoulders shoving into him, he stared up into the cloudless blue sky. “What have I done?” he whispered, finally voicing the constant refrain ringing through his head, slithering through his thoughts. “What have I done?”

The sea of humanity flowed by, its passengers completely unaware of the poor lost soul standing in the center of their path. They passed by the pitiful figure without even as much as a backward glance.

((Oooo! Poetic! Don’t worry, people, I’m very far from done….))

[Yuki Sohma]

Yuki stared up at the sky, crystal tears glimmering in the corners of his piecing amethyst-colored eyes. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice when a half-drunk tourist shoved him into the road. Perhaps an exceptionally tiny portion of his brain registered this rather important information, for his feet began to walk again, following an unknown path. He stepped nimbly out of the way of an oncoming car, and continued to walk. His mind did not register this, still lost in its own misery, guilt, and anguish. What have I done?

He walked, this time staring into the air, struggling to hold back the tears that burned his eyes. One drop fell with a plop onto his slender hand, but he did not notice. Perhaps he was being just a bit too self-pitying, but most anyone would feel this way—or worse—if that person had almost killed a sibling with no real idea why. What have I done? When would he ever get over this guilt? Probably never, it would surely haunt him for the rest of his life. What could he do about it now?

Well…

There was one way and only one way…

Oh boy. He had to go and talk to Ayame. No way! If he talked to his brother, he naturally would apologize, but he would be obligated to tell Aaya why he did what he did… Yuki really didn’t want to do that. If he explained he had been half-asleep plus a little pissed at the world, of course he would have to say why… But to explain this fully, we must go back a long way…

((Oooo boy! Do you remember when I promised to tell you when I figured out why Yuki strangled Aaya? Well, here it comes! To thicken what little plot we have even more, read on…))

A while back, Isuzu—or Rin, the name she preferred—had come to the house, had gotten severely ill, and had gone to the hospital. Yuki had visited her nearly every day until only girls were allowed to see her. That had been a bit odd, but he supposed she didn’t want to see Hatsuharu. It was hardly fair, but she could deal with it. But Honda-san had kept visiting, obviously. One day, she had come home with a very worried expression on her face, and he had resolved to ask Rin about it. The day she got out of the hospital, he was there, waiting for her. “We need to talk,” he told her quietly.
“Oh? Why?” she asked, with no emotion showing on her face. Yuki went right to the point, so to speak.
“Honda-san came home last Thursday very worried and concerned. Why? What did you tell her?” Rin laughed, and looked him squarely in the eyes, black meeting purple.
“What makes you think I told her anything?” Yuki frowned at her.
“Because I know you, that’s why. Because I’m also not stupid, that’s also why. Tell me. If she’s worried, then who knows what you told her. Tell me.” The black-haired woman laughed again.
“My, you must be worried too. I haven’t heard you speak this much in years.” He just looked at her. “Oh, fine. You’re no fun,” she pouted. Yuki raised an eyebrow at the unusually bubbly woman.
“You seem happy,” he stated.
“Of course I’m happy! I’m out of that hell you people like to call a hospital. Yes, yes, I know, tell you. Okay, you said last Thursday, right? She brought gelatin, I believe. We talked- I do know that. Hmm. Oh yes, I talked about our curse. The bond, you know. How we—the spirits, actually—have to go to God’s side and never leave. And you said that upset her? Odd. I wouldn’t think it would. After all, it’s only a promise and anyone can make promises,” Rin prattled on, happy to be out of that hated place. As they walked out, Yuki guided her toward the bus stop with a small hand on her elbow.
“Anyone can make them, anyone can break them, and anyone can change them,” he murmured to himself.
“Pardon?”
“Oh, it’s nothing really. Here’s the stop,” he said, but his eyes were shining with the light of victory.

Promises! It was all about promises! He had never thought of it that way before! It was so simple! If you could make a promise, you could break that promise, and you could make another promise to replace the old one! While thinking these revolutionary thoughts, the possibility of being wrong didn’t even cross his mind. He had realized Akito wouldn’t just do what Yuki wanted, which was why he had been a little pissed at the world when he woke up. But who cared? It was all too exciting to understand it all, finally! He hadn’t thought a lot about it before, but he was now.

So what could he do with this revelation? What could he do to break the bond? Getting rid of Akito (figuratively, of course) would take care of a vast majority of the Zodiac’s problems. With nobody to boss them around, they could live the lives they wanted—safely! They would be free to search for a way to be completely free if they wanted to! But with what could Akito be convinced to change the promise? With what could he be, to put it simply, bribed?

Yuki’s mind was distracted while thinking these important thoughts, and he was acting a little more normally now. No more tears—for the moment—no standing like a deer in the headlights, just a teenage boy with rumpled clothes and messed-up hair walking down the street.

What does Akito want? Yuki wondered, ambling down the dirty sidewalk. He sent his thoughts back, far back, into his childhood that he spent at the main house. He had never forgotten anything Akito had said, anything he had done, for whatever reason, and it was a good thing at the moment. He sifted through memories he had never wanted to remember again with barely a shudder. There was no time to be afraid, for he knew that in these memories were the things Akito said in anger, and when a person was angry, they said things they really meant. So in these memories, memories of pain and punishment, memories of isolation and fear, there would be words of anger. I guess that psychology class was useful after all, he thought with a half-smile. As he continued sifting through horrific memories, he began to become slightly frustrated. Was this a useless task? “Darn it all,” he started to say, and stopped. Wait a minute…here was something.

Yuki had been ten years old, and he had just figured out what was going on with his family. Perhaps it was a bad thing to know he was being controlled, being played like a pawn, but he knew and he had to do something about it. “You’re not MY boss!” he screamed at Akito. “I don’t care what you think, I’m going to leave and you can’t do anything about it! I’M DONE WITH YOU!” This was very likely the wrong thing to say, but again, he was angry. Akito got up from the chair in which he had been lounging and advanced toward to angry little boy, fury reflected in his eyes.

Uh oh.

“How dare you? the leader of the Sohmas hissed. “How dare you come to ME and tell me you want to leave here? Leave the only place that a freak like you would ever be accepted? Leave US? Leave ME? How dare you?!” He was shouting now. At this point, Yuki’s memory became a little fuzzy. Darn it, he thought, I hope there isn’t something important that I’ve forgotten. I wonder why I can’t remember it. He skimmed through the rest, still walking aimlessly down the street. Wait a second…oh no. this was SO not good. The end of the memory was the only part left, but it was more than enough.

Yuki was lying spread-eagled on the floor, blood running down his head to form a puddle on the wooden boards. Akito was standing over him. “You actually thought you could get away. How sad.” A pale hand reached down and caressed a blood-spattered cheek. “What would I do without you?” He pulled the traumatized child to his cold chest and stroked the stained silver hair. “You must stay with me, by my side forever, my little rat.” At that, Yuki slipped into the blackness on unconsciousness, and remembered no more.

Oh no. Oh please no. Oh please tell me I’m making this up. Oh God *bleep* it all. Oh no. Oh no. Oh please please please no! No no no no oh my god please no. Please tell me no oh good lord please no no no no no oh no someone tell me I’m dreaming! Oh god oh god oh god no please no please god no no no no NO! This was bad. This was really bad. This was incredibly unbelievably horrible BAD! Akito wanted HIM! That was bad (even if he ignored the perverse connotations); it meant Akito wanted someone else to manipulate besides Kureno—poor man, he was walked all over constantly—he wanted a toy to play with and mess with and hurt. There has to be something else he wants, Yuki thought desperately. My head hurts.

He spotted a bench and gladly hurried toward it. Yuki sat down with a thump and dropped his head into his hands. Oh my god. He dived into his memories once again to try to find something else. Please let there be something else he wants! he prayed. He wasn’t a very spiritual person at all (being as he knew God personally and hated him), but right now there was need to pray to some God, whatever it might be.

Yuki flipped through various memories, more panicked by the second. There wasn’t anything! He started skimming, faster and faster, growing even more frantic with each memory he cast aside. Finally, he was finished, and sat up straight with his face flushed and his palms sweaty. There isn’t anything else, he thought in despair I’ve never heard about anything else that he wants. There isn’t anything else. NO! I won’t do it! I’ll die, he’ll kill me, I don’t want to die—AUGH! Brain overload.

((We really need an Akito now…Hey Kim…my very sadistic friend…come and be Akito…))

Yuki sat on the metal bench, his eyes wide with shock, horror, and just about any negative emotion a human could experience. This was so incredibly not good. His brain had just gone into overload mode, and was trying very hard to reassemble itself again. Slowly, very slowly, he began to think again. Bad, he thought. Not good. Really not good. Really über not good. Aaaaaa! He started to panic again. No, stay calm, stay clam, stop thinking about…that! ((I’ll leave you to your own conclusions. Heh heh.)) Think about different possibilities, he instructed himself. Do what the annoying health teacher said to do. What could happen in I do it? What would be good and what would be bad? After a while, Yuki came up with this list.

Good:
-Stops Akito playing with the Zodiac, no more interference from him
-Zodiac can do (or live) as they want to
-more opportunities to break curse (to search for a way)
-could lead to the breaking of the curse—permanently
-a chance to break fear of constant fear and control
-Zodiac members would have a future
-could escape after “giving” self to Akito

Bad:
-if Akito wants Yuki, he (Yuki) could be imprisoned forever
-very few things that Akito wants
-possibility of serious injury while with Akito
-theory could be incorrect, useless, sacrificed rest of life for nothing
-Zodiac could be even more tightly controlled afterwards
-large, even huge chance of death
-don’t even THINK about it! Absolute, total perverseness!

Yuki went through his list repeatedly, trying to reason with himself. In the end, it came out even—there were equal good things and bad things. What would—or should—he do? If he said, “Yes, I’ll do it,” he could gain all or lose all. If he said “No way,” he would never know what he might have gained, but would have lost all, in a way. So, when he thought about it like that, it seemed better to do it than not, but that opinion was from an impersonal point of view. Why, oh WHY didn’t I think about all this when I first realized it? WHY did I only think “I can change the promise?” WHY didn’t I think ahead farther than that? How could I have been such a complete baka? HOW was I so utterly stupid? he lamented.

The rat sat on the bench, torn between two agonizing choices of an agonizing problem. What should he do? It was so very confusing. Okay, I’ll try again. Yuki went back to the beginning and started over once more. Time passed, and Yuki had boiled the whole thing down to two simple statements.

One: Yes, he’d do it: He could break the bond and/or the curse, or tighten bond and get severely hurt.
Two: No, he wouldn’t do it: He’d never know what he might have gained, he would lose nothing but he would gain nothing.

So when he looked at it, it was better to say “yes” than say “no.” But did he value his life above the other twelve lives in the Zodiac? Putting all thoughts of selfishness aside, it would be better to say “no” than “yes” in that situation. But he didn’t value his life above their lives, so therefore for him it would be better to say “yes.” But when he threw in the personal injury possibility, Yuki was back where he started. So it really didn’t help much. But if he disregarded personal injury—after all, he realized with a growing sense of elation, he’d been severely hurt before and he was still alive, and besides, if Akito want to kill him he could have done so infinite times before, so that couldn’t be the reason, right?—his answer would certainly be “yes.” So why not say yes and finish this internal argument? Because no matter what bluster I use to hide it, I am a coward. Stalling proves I’m a coward. I’m trying to delay the inevitable. But if I say yes, I’ll do it, I show I’m not a coward. If that gets me to say yes and do the right thing, I guess that’s a good a motivation as any, he thought ruefully. So he stopped once again, and thought. And he thought and thought and thought about it. And finally, he came to his decision.

“I’ll do it.”

((Ha ha ha!! How’s that for a brilliant cliffhanger? Payback time, Aaya!))

[Yuki Sohma]

His slumped head lifted in acceptance of his choice, and his brilliant eyes seemed to have a fresh light in them. As he ran his slender fingers through his silver hair and brushed what he could off his clothes, a smile appeared and grew on his face. No longer was he just any ordinary teenage boy. Now he was Yuki Sohma, the physical embodiment of the rat in the Chinese Zodiac, endowed with all the powers thereof. But not for long. He had a job to do.

Yuki stood up from his bench, looking like himself again, with a gleam in one eye and a grin in the other. Time to take care of something. He set off with a purpose toward a store close by. As he entered the shop—it was a flower shop—he smiled at the cashier. “Might I borrow your phone book?” he asked the woman politely. She blushed and answered “Of course you may!” How is it that a boy so young can be so incredibly…sexy? she thought. Yes, he was young. She was fifty-six. ((All together now: “Fifty-six?! Sixteen!?! EW!!!” Yes, I know. But it’s funny. I keep putting the age up. It used to be thirty-six, and then it was forty-six, and now it’s fifty-six…why am I doing this?))

She handed his the book with another blush as Yuki thanked her. Now, let’s see…I’m on Ichimo, and I want to get to Atani, but that’s just halfway into downtown… He traced his route with a long finger, his forehead slightly crinkled from thought. Ah, here we are. If I walk fast, it’ll take me about twenty minutes to get there. But since there are so many people out today, it’ll probably take a half an hour or even more. I should really write down the route. Do I have… He dug in his pockets for something to write on and something to write with. Yuki usually had some paper in his pockets…

Ah! A pen! And some paper! Perfect. Now, how did I do that…Oh, yeah. From Ichimo then right onto Chuni then onto Onatura… He quickly wrote out what he was thinking, with firm strokes and elegant characters. There! That’ll work very well. He walked back to the counter, handed the phone book back to the clerk, and thanked her once again. While she was blushing and stammering out a “You’re welcome,” Yuki’s eye fell on a few bundles of roses close by, in all different colors. How pretty, he thought. The woman got over her blushing and noticed the directing on his gaze. “Do you like those, sir? We have a special on them today, only five hundred yen for two.”

((I have no idea about Japanese prices. *cries* I guess I’ll just say that’s a good bargain. No clue…ha ha…))

Yuki looked at her in mild astonishment behind a calm demeanor. 500 yen for two? That was an incredibly low price! Well, he thought with a mental grin, I know something I can do with two roses. “Yes, thank you, I would like to buy two of them.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of coins. Do I have enough? Let me see…one hundred, two—no, three hundred, four hundred, do I have another hundred? No… do I have two fifties? One and…yes, I do! There we are, 500 yen. He handed the coins over to the woman—who blushed—and was handed a receipt and a bag. Yuki thanked the woman one last time, walked over to the bundles of roses, and looked at them. Which two should he pick? On an impulse, he leaned forward and plucked two different colored roses out of their separate bunches—a snow-white rose and a rose as red as blood. As he walked out the door with his purchases, the woman called gaily, “Arigatou! Please come again!” As soon as the door closed, she spun around and pressed her hands to her burning cheeks. Oh my…

Yuki walked down the street, with his roses in a bag and his directions in his hand. He passed by many, many people, without being shoved around (as he was aware of his surroundings). As he passed by a certain temple, he stopped and entered it on an impulse, hoping no one would notice that his feet were bare. His pants were long enough to cover his feet, so everything was fine. Yuki passed into the garden, and stopped at a particular memorial shrine. Honda Kyoko, it read. Honda-san’s mother. Gently, he drew the red rose out of his bag and laid it on the stones. Bowing his head, he thought a short prayer and went on his way, exiting from the back gate.

Yuki continued his walk, getting back on his intended route quickly. Soon after, he saw some tables in a park and veered off the sidewalk. So many detours, he thought, amused. I need something flat and hard to write on. Stopping at an empty table, he carefully placed the bag down and dug in his pocket for another scrap of paper and his pen. Drawing both out, he uncapped the pen and began to write.

After no more than half a minute, he recapped the pen and stuck it back in his pocket, blowing gently on the ink to dry it. Yuki had found a short piece of string in his pocket while replacing the pen, and he drew the string out. Lifting the remaining rose out of the bag, he took his scrap of paper, newly dry, and wrapped it around the upper part of the stem, the writing facing inward. He tied it there securely with the string and snapped off the bottom of the long rose stem. Putting the stem in a convenient garbage can and replacing the rose back in the bag, he set off again, determined to reach his destination this time.

Feeling a lot better than he had the day before, Yuki skirted the crowds and ended up in an alley filled with, randomly enough, trees. He looked up at the buildings shading his purple eyes with his free hand. His gaze focused on a single lighted window on the second story. That’s it. That’s the window I want. Let me see…how do I get up there? Climb a tree? No, too weird…Aha! The fire escape! He leaped up with supreme grace, born from his many years of martial arts training, and was up the ladder before it had time to groan and pull down to the ground because of his weight, the way it was designed to. That was pretty good. It didn’t make any noise at all, he thought, sitting on the platform below the window. Brushing off his pants, he stood up quietly and peered through the window. There he was, engrossed in his work, unable to hear or see a thing.

His brother.

Ayame.

Perfect, he thought with a small grin. Aaya was dead to the world and the window was very conveniently open. Slowly and quietly, he reached into the bag and pulled out his message rose. Letting the bag drift to the ground—he’d get it later—Yuki reached through the open window and silently placed the rose atop a black piece of fabric. He hoped it would be more noticeable that way. Withdrawing his arm, he turned around and leaped off the platform to land with a very soft thump in a crouch on the ground.

((Yes, yes, I know, he /was/ on the second story. But hey, if Kyo can do it, so can Yuki! After all, they both have the same sensei—Kazuma—so why not?))

Yuki picked up the empty bag and put it into another convenient garbage can. Brushing his pants off once again, he set off for the front of the shop. ((Borrowing Mine. I don’t think I’ll be very good at it, but oh well. Here goes nothing.)) He glanced down at his feet again, checking once more to see that his pants were covering then, and they were, so everything was fine. He took a deep breath—no going back now—and pushed open the shop door.

A dark-haired woman in an odd outfit—Mine, he remembered—bustled toward him. “Konnichiwa! Welcome! How may I help you?” she asked him, a cheerful smile on her face.
“Actually, I’d like to speak to Sohma-san. Is he here?” Yuki asked, even though he knew very well that Aaya was at the shop. Mine looked a little flustered, twisting her apron in her hands.
“Oh dear, I am so sorry, but I’m afraid he’s in the middle of something. Would you like to leave him a message and come back, or would you like to have him call you?" she asked, worried. Yuki smiled at her to get her to calm down.
“Would it be all right if I simply waited for him to be finished with what he’s doing?” he queried. She smiled, relieved. It wouldn’t be a repeat of that last time, then…
“Oh, I’m sure that would be perfectly fine with him! Please, come this was and wait in here.” He smiled at her again with a quiet “Arigatou” as he followed her into another, less cluttered room. She said, kindly, that he could sit in there until Sohma-san was done, and hurried out as the door to outside opened again.

Yuki stretched out in his chosen seat and smiled a small smile without much pleasure in it. Mine hadn’t noticed any resemblance, which was good for him, anyway. How long would it take Aaya to finish with his work? But for now, he would just have to wait and hope that his nii-san would finish soon and find his note. It was a very simple message, just two lines long. He hoped his firm handwriting would be recognizable. There wasn’t much of it, but he still hoped it would be enough.

One side held two simple words: Gomen nasai. The other side contained a short phrase: If you want to talk, I’ll be downstairs.

So here he was, trying his hardest to repress the sudden new surge of guilt. *Bleep* it. They’re back. Whatever. Yuki stretched his arms above his head and sighed. He repressed the noises in his head by simply ignoring them, because if he did not encourage them by listening, there was no fuel for their fire, so to speak. So what if they did speak to him anyway? Did it really matter what they said anymore? He knew now. He knew they lied. He knew he was stronger than they were, since they were simply figments of his imagination, invented by his own mind in order to channel his guilt. The voices began to argue over that, insisting that they were not imaginary, that they were real, that they wouldn’t go away. Whatever. He was stronger than they were—since they didn’t have any strength at all, let alone physical strength, since they did not have physical bodies—and he would overcome them. He would. There was no doubt about that.

SHUT UP! Yuki mentally roared. He was sick of this already. He had complete control over then, and now he commanded then to shut up and go away permanently. And to his ultimate surprise, they did. Interesting.

Yuki stretched out in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. He could wait for his brother. He could wait. He had patience. He had all the time in the world now…

((AND IT IS DONE!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot express my feelings in words, so just imagine a WHOLE LOT of exclamation points.))

[Ayame Sohma]

ooc: Wasn't sure exactly where to put this... This is right after the gunshot and Mine's confusion (see A new side of Ayame).

bic:

Ayame was quite aware that he had to leave the room quickly to avoid harm to Mine's innocence, so he slid from the front room to the next room. He was quite shocked to see his brother in the room. Yuki looked scared, and with good reason (assuming he heard the gunshot, which is more than likely). Just then, there was a *poof* and Ayame morphed back into his human form a bit sooner than he expected. He looked back to make sure Mine could not see him (she was still staring out the door in shock), then beamed at his brother.

"What an eventful day! If I was not such a manly man, I would faint from fatigue." He looked down at his unclothed body and turned to the clothing rack, slowly ((probably agonizingly slowly for Yuki, LOL)) tried to decide what to put on. Clothing must always fit one's mood, he thought, and I am not sure I have anything that would work right now! As he browsed, he began dreaming up a creation that would fit this complex mood.

ooc: Eh. My inspiration didn't go as well as planned, 'cause I am tired and short on time. Ah well.

[Yuki Sohma]

ooc: I love you Aaya.

bic: Ooooookay, this was unexpected. Yuki raised an eyebrow, and was about to greet his brother and ask what on earth had gotten into Aaya because he was in public and yet he was transformed, when Ayame transformed back. Oh dear. Yuki found himself blushing furiously and averting his eyes when his brother seemed not to care that he was naked and really taking his time putting on clothes. For God's sake, just choose something and put it on!

Once his brother was dressed, Yuki cleared his throat. "Konnichiwa, and what on earth is going on here?"

ooc: I've still got it. I'VE STILL GOT IT!

[Ayame Sohma]

Ayame pulled a stray thread off of his new garment, smoothing out the wrinkles in the fabric. It was a gorgeous robe -- exciting yellow with black flowers embroidered on the sleeves -- and Aaya quite liked it. Through the whole selection process he had kept that winning smile on his face.

"We shall have a lovely heart-to-heart momentarily, but first I have a very confused assistant sitting in the front room." He twirled around and, with his long silver hair flowing behind him, waltzed into the front room, motioning for Yuki to stay put.

He saw Mine sitting on the floor, looking like she was about to cry.

"My goodness! Mine! What are you doing on the floor?" he said, acting surprised. "I heard you shouting. What's going on?"

This, of course, confused the seamstress considerably. She started to babble. "Wha- there was - you - that man - and the gun - and -" Her face was a chalky white, and for perhaps the first time in her life, she was at a loss for words.

"My dear, I believe you have been dreaming," said Ayame in a voice that was almost serious.

So complete was Mine's trust in him that she immediately agreed. "Yes of course! Too much tea! Oh! Aaya! Someone's here to see you! I told him to wait in the other room." She put on her pretty little shop keeper face.

"Yes. My dear brother Yuki. I have seen him already." Ayame said solemnly, and his assistant looked shocked. "Would you make us some tea? I think my brother and I will be conversing for quite some time."

Mine nodded and ran off to make the tea while Ayame went back to Yuki.

"My apologies for being so rude. If I had known you wanted to bask in my radiance for a second time today I would not have shut myself away in my workshop." He said this with utmost sincerity and without a hint of bitterness or sarcasm, as though he had forgotten all about the events that transpired earlier that day. ((I think it's still the same day..))

[Yuki Sohma]

ooc: Actually, it's the afternoon after the "events" of the day before, as you so perfectly put it. I like it! And I shall have to try hard to prevent Yuki from strangling Aaya a second time...but he won't, I promise you that.

bic: Mine was not the only person in the shop who was confused, because Yuki was as well. But first things first. What day did his brother think it was anyway? "A second time today? It's Saturday. Yesterday was Friday, and yesterday you came to the house. Did you lose track of time again?" He probably had, knowing Ayame. "Besides, you were busy, and I did not think it a good idea to interrupt you." Yuki paused, and stood up, so that he would be at least at eye level with his brother. Yuki hated being short sometimes. Actually, rather often.

"So, would you be willing to tell me what you have been doing? Personally, I do not think that gunshots and transforming are all part of a normal day's work for you, let alone anyone."

ooc: Not much more to say now. I love Fruits Basket.

[Ayame Sohma]

ooc: Short people of the world, UNITE! Just a random thought: does anyone else think OOK (as in the onomatopoeia) when you type "ooc:"? I do. In my head I never say "O-O-C", it is always either "OOK" or, for some reason, "Oo-Oo-C." Does that make sense? Am I just weird?

bic: Aaya beamed radiantly. "Ah! Of course it's Thursday! Time means little to someone of my superiority. As for the gunshots and whatnot, I would not wish to ruin your innocence." Now his smile finally weakened a bit. He twisted his hair and looked seriously at his brother.

"I must say I think it odd that you chose to come see me so soon. Are my attempts at brotherly affection really going that well?" Ayame felt a twinge of regret. Deep down he felt that he had made very little headway with his brother, although Yuki seemed to be able to tolerate Aaya now. Though he was determined not to give up the fight, Ayame was afraid. Afraid that the gap he himself had created could never be repaired.

ooc: Eh. I wanted to write more about Aaya's guilt, but I am afraid I'll run out of time. Sorry.

[Yuki Sohma]

ooc: Well, I think "ook" too. And "bick." Weird, no? Blah.

bic: Yuki tried to repress his annoyance at his nii-san's first comment. Does he really think like that? His face suddenly went hard at the "ruin your innocence" line, with a touch of anger in the way his eyebrows curved. Bad choice of words, sir.

"Innocence? What is that? What do we, the members of the Zodiac, have use for that?" His eyes hardened until they appeared to be diamond-hard chunks of ice. "Innocence is useless. People are harmed more with it than without it, and this I know for a fact."

Yuki's face burned with rage--he was working himself up to a point where he might hurt himself rather than other people in his anger. This could get dangerous. "I have seen too many things, heard too many things, known too many things to be innocent! I have been scarred enough, thank you. Innocence can only harm me more than I already have been, and I would like the use of all my limbs and organs until I die." His voice dropped to a venomous whisper. "What use have I for innocence? Innocent, I fall. Corrupted, I stand strong. Have you, as well, come to make me crumble?"

The smooth, powerful voice took on a cynical, self-mocking aspect as Yuki drew himself up to his full height. "So sorry to disappoint you, but I shall be standing on my own till the day I die, on which I will escape the clutches of all of you. So beware. Do not stand in my way."

Yuki turned as he was walking toward the door, and pinned his brother with an icy stare of amethyst. "If you have no other reason to speak with me than to mock me, I shall take my leave of you now." As he stepped forward to leave, he added, "As to your efforts, they are not going well, sir. They have failed. Miserably. I find it hard to believe we share the exact same parents."

He turned around one last time, to deliver his final shot. "Goodbye, sir. I trust we will not be seeing each other again. Ittekimasu, except I will not be back, and sayonara. This was your last chance, and you have blown it grandly. Have a nice life." Yuki stepped out of the room, and started rapidly toward the shop's front door.

[Ayame Sohma]

ooc: Ouch.

bic:

"That is it then." Ayame whispered to himself. "It has finally come." I finally got what I deserved. I sealed my fate many years ago when I first pushed my little brother away. By trying to get him back - oh, how selfish I am! - I only succeeded in causing him pain. Ayame Sohma collapsed into a chair, numb.

He had been fearing this moment all along. Yuki had finally turned away from him, and vowed never to speak to him again. This was Aaya's worst fear.

His most vivid memory was a day long ago: Aaya was young, and Yuki was younger. Yuki was afraid, more afraid than any child should ever be. Ayame could see the terror in his beautiful eyes. And yet he turned away. Away from the only person who ever asked for his help. Away from responsibility. Away from his brother.

This was a sin that could never be forgiven. Ayame knew it, yet he tried vainly to mend the broken bond of brotherhood. He tried, but until now he had failed to realize one important thing: He had not changed. He was still the horrible monster that rejected Yuki so many years ago.

He was unfit to be loved by anyone.

[Tohru Honda]

ooc: I needed something to post on so here it goes......
bic: Tohru tossed and turned all night....mumbling mom and don’t go... she awoke with a start from the dream that she had every single night. ((Can you guess what it is?)) MOM! she shouted... oh.....why do I keep having the same dream? Wait this one was different somehow....what was different? . She put on her thinking cap. Kyo! ...Kyo was there! That’s what was different! …but why? I don’t understand dreams….maybe I should ask Hana-Chan… she is good at this kind of stuff. *gasp* YUKI! Did he ever come home!? Yuki? Yuki! she walked around the house calling for Yuki.
ooc: borrowing Shigure
bic: if you are looking for Yuki, he never came back the dog said. WHAT?!? Sohma-kun never came home?! I’m going to go look for him! What if something happened to him!? What will we do?! OHMYGOSH!!!!! (She is totally freaking out if you could not tell).
Tohru...um…Tohru …breathe.
Wha… oh...sorry… there are left-overs in the fridge for breakfast and I should be back for lunch….. Bye! she goes out the door in search for yuki. Hmm…where could he be? I wonder if he is at the secret base! That is a good place to look! she follows the path to the base. nope not here. Where could he be? Oh look! The strawberries are ready! she picks all of the bright juicy berries. What should I make with these? Hmmmm…I know! Strawberry pie! Everyone would like that. she headed back to the house to make the pie. Lalala maybe this will make Yuki feel better. gasp! Yuki! I need to look for Yuki!!! Why do I always get so distracted? she hurries out the door again this time determined to “keep her mind on the prize” never give up! I will never give up looking. she wanders off through the forest…unknowingly following the same path as Yuki and Aaya. (With plenty more stumbles than they had though.) She zones out and just follows her feet. When she comes to she realizes she is in the city. …ehh? Mom, how did I get here?...have I been here before? Ayame-san’s shop! That’s why this looks so familiar! Maybe I will go see how he is doing his own brother did strangle him after all… . ((what honorific does she use for Aaya?)) she slowly enters the shop…Hello? is any body here? ...Hellllooo?
ooc: there I finally got it done... Yay posting!!!!

[Ayame Sohma]

At that moment Ayame himself stumbled toward the front door, numb and blind with... shock. He saw Tohru, but in his state of mind he mistook her for Mine (who was still preparing the tea). Knowing his assistant alway had a shoulder to cry on, he collapsed on top of Tohru, carefully keeping his arms in a non-hugging position. *Sob*

ooc: eh, sorry. That is all I have for now.

[Tohru Honda]

ooc:poor Aaya! *hugs*
bic: *shock*(tohu has on her shocked face) EH!? don't transform! don't transform!how would i explain a snake around my neck and Ayame-san's clothes on the floor to Mine? what would be her response? she tries to imagine what Mine would say"oh he changes his clothes alot....but he usually folds/hangs them up....something must be wrong....i should go and ask him" Mine-chan! um..he...um he left, ya that's it, he left to... um..go..see Yuki...she comes back from her little day dream oh mom, i hope mine doesn't come if Ayame-san changes um...um...Ayame-san i-is something the matter? you can tell me...you can tell me anything! I'm a good listener!she gently pats his shoulder. she too is being very careful to stay away from anything that resembles hugging. ((we all know what a hug would bring *giggles*))

[Ayame Sohma]

Ayame composed himself and stood up. "Forgive me. I just need a walk. A long walk. Tell Mine to get you some tea."

And he walked out the door.

ooc: Sorry, that's the best I can do right now. And it's nice to hear from you again, Tori-san! Yuki, all is forgiven!

[Tohru Honda]

ooc: furuba vol.16 TOMORROW!!!!!!!!SQUEE!!
bic: oh! um...ok.. oh mom, i wish people would share their what is bothering them....it is not good to keep it bottled up inside. i hope Ayame-san is ok.... i hope Sohma-kun is ok too... she stands still just pondering everything that has happened....